DISAPPOINTMENT
When one is forced to act in a way that is forbidden, or to refrain from acting in a way that is proper, he becomes regretful and thinks himself dishonored. At that time there is a sense of disappointment. In this kind of disappointment one becomes full of anxiety, sheds tears, changes bodily color, feels humility and breathes heavily.
When Kṛṣṇa, in punishing the Kāliya serpent, appeared to have drowned Himself in the poisonous water of the Yamunā, Nanda Mahārāja addressed Yaśodā-devī thus: “My dear wife, Kṛṣṇa has gone deep into the water, and so there is no longer any need to maintain our bodies, which are so full of sinful activities! Let us also enter into the poisonous water of the Yamunā and compensate for the sinful activities of our lives!” This is an instance of severe shock, wherein the devotee becomes greatly disappointed.
When Kṛṣṇa left Vṛndāvana, Subala, His intimate friend, decided to leave also. While leaving, Subala was contemplating that without Kṛṣṇa there was no longer any pleasure to be found in Vṛndāvana. The analogy is given that as the bees go away from a flower that has no honey, Subala left Vṛndāvana when he found that there was no longer any relishable transcendental pleasure there.
In Dāna-keli-kaumudī Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī addresses one of Her friends in this manner: “My dear friend, if I cannot hear of the glorious activities of Kṛṣṇa, it is better for Me to become deaf. And because I am now unable to see Him, it would be good for Me to be a blind woman.” This is another instance of disappointment due to separation from Kṛṣṇa.
There is a statement in the Hari-vaṁśa wherein Satyabhāmā, one of the queens of Kṛṣṇa in Dvārakā, tells her husband, “My dear Kṛṣṇa, since I heard Nārada glorifying Rukmiṇī before You, I can understand that there is no need of any talking about myself!” This is an instance of disappointment caused by envy. Rukmiṇī and Satyabhāmā were co-wives, and because Kṛṣṇa was husband of both, there naturally was some feminine envy between them. So when Satyabhāmā heard the glories of Rukmiṇī, she was envious of her and thus became disappointed.
In the Tenth Canto, fifty-first chapter, verse 47 of the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, there is this statement: “My dear Kṛṣṇa, I cannot say that it is only other people who are implicated in material existence because I too am much entangled with the bodily concept of life. I am always too anxious about my family, home, wife, wealth, land and kingdom. And because I have been so maddened by this material atmosphere, I am thinking now that my life has simply been spoiled.” This statement is an instance of disappointment caused by lamentation.
According to Bharata Muni, this disappointment is inauspicious. But there are other learned scholars who have accepted such disappointment as being in the mood of neutrality and as being a preservative of ecstatic love.
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